Edits

I did not make any major changes to my paper concerning the focus. I added a few extra sentences that possibly could give this FCA more support, but I thought my message had a clear focus.

I added extra content to my paper. There is now an extra paragraph concerning people that take the easy way out and end up paying for it later. I think my content added now reinforces my argument even more. Before this extra paragraph was inserted, it simply looked like a short dull paper, but hopefully the added information will enhance it.

The structure is much better now with four paragraphs. It makes the paper look better and read better. The first paragraph simply obtains the readers attention and wants him to read more. The second paragraph, gives a general statement about how people now more than ever before need to do the right thing. Towards the end I tried to connect with the reader, giving them direct advice on what not to do. The third paragraph focuses on motivating the reader on how to do the right thing, by stating that it has benefited people many times before. Lastly, the closing paragraph, yet again motivates the reader by using country, community, family, and yourself as motives.

I reread my paper and made little changes that could influence the flow or mood of it. I also thought keeping parallel sentence structures greatly effects the style. I found out that it sounds the best when items in sentences are in pairs of three. It gives the paper a good rhythm.

I did not make any spelling or grammar changes to the rough draft, because whenever I finish a paper I try to at least remember to check for spelling and grammar since it is usually the easiest to check. It also does not hurt that the computer checks spelling for you as well!

☟ The Final Draft of The Paper is Posted Below☟